How to have more sex in your relationship

Get In The Mood Fast

Frequency of sex is intrinsically tied to happiness in a relationship. The National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago has consistently found that married couples between the ages of 30 and 59 who describe themselves as “very happy” have sex about 60% more often than those who describe their relationship as “not too happy.” (That’s 78 times a year versus 48.)
But does more sex lead to greater happiness or greater happiness to more sex? Evidence suggests that it works both ways. So to boost your health—and happiness!—here’s how to get your groove back.

Take a shortcut

After a long and boring day, anything that helps get you both turned on should become part of your arsenal.

For men and some women, soft porn or magazines often do the trick. Talk to your other half so she doesn’t feel inadequate if you resort to porn—and get her to try it herself. Even better, make your own soft-porn… she might love to see a video of herself! I recommend promising beforehand that the material stays 100% private for ever.

For many women, romance novels are equally likely to promote passion. By providing vicarious thrills, they can help generate natural lubrication too. If she hasnt read it yet, buy her 50 Shades of Grey, Voluptuous Vixen or Seduce Me at Sunrise. Then ask her to re-read to you her favourite  bits.

Just be adventurous

The pursuit of novelty doesn’t mean you have to twist yourself into every position in the Kama Sutra. The goal of sex is to bond and have fun, not to end up in traction. Try anything that makes you feel naughty or seductive. That might mean role playing (“Professor says to student: do you need some extracurricular tutoring?”) or dressing up. Does she like uniforms??

Just do it

A change of venue accomplishes two goals. It adds novelty, and it gets you away from the normal surroundings, which rarely is sexually enticing. Get a hotel for a quickie at noon!

Just talk

Create some time out just for each other. If you had kids recently this might feel difficult, but it does wonders for a relationship. Couples blame each other for placing too much emphasis on children or careers at the expense of the relationship. Have a glass of wine and talk. When people feel understood, they often feel a greater sense of love or passion. If you can’t solve all your problems, at least come to enough of a truce to give each other pleasure. Problem solving may get easier after that. It is a virtuous cycle. Take more time just for each other and you will remember why you actually got together in the first place.

Just touch each other

According to psycho-sexual therapists, there are four stages of sex: desire, arousal, orgasm, and return to normal. “But for a lot of people, stages one and two—desire and arousal—can happen in reverse order,” says Weiner-Davis. Get your partner to let you touch her sexually, whether you’re in the mood or not. Nerves that are wired to parts of the brain involved in sexual excitement will be stimulated, and physical arousal will likely follow.

Work out together

Working out together does several things. You spend quality time together, you get hot and sweaty (and eventually toned and muscly) outside of the bedroom and you release lots of endorphines.

Especially men benefit from compound exercises like regular pushups and pullups, which you can do at home. Even better, work out your legs regularly by doing squats and deadlifts in the gym. This will stimulate your testosterone production, increase your libido and ability to have a solid erection.

Ideally, work out at home together. Do some High Intensity circuits and then repeat in the bedroom! 🙂


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